She loved the sheets with the daisies, yellow and white, with a border of overly saturated yellow lace and the daisies arranged on a vining garland of green leaves. She ran her hand purposefully along the border, measuring out set distances, then gathering the fabric together, cinching each segment one hand closing against the other. She then transferred the gathered material, and stretched it out again. She repeated the process, gathering and stretching, over and over, with single-minded deliberation. Some forty minutes passed with increasingly frantic activity on her part, the sheet systematically revolving in measured increments, spinning around slowly at first, then in a maddening clockwork gaining momentum in a disheartening eddy of yellow and white petals, all mirroring the confusion and desperation that had overtaken her mind. She lifted up the border, looking up at me with pleading eyes. “I tried to make it beautiful”, she said. “It is beautiful”, I responded, as my heart sank inside of me. “God, why do you hate me?” I almost said it aloud as I gritted my teeth, not to let it slip out, and turning aside, I wiped away some tears that had begun to pool. I could not ease her trouble; I was drowning in a whirlpool of white and yellow daises.
Uncategorized
Loss: The Journey Begins
There are images I come across that express the journey better than words can convey. This is one. It begins as a solitary one, Sometimes,it even feels like God is also absent:‘How long, Lord? Will you forget me for ever? How long will you hide your face from me?’(Psalm 13:1). In time, you will find others on the same journey, Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
How does this image speak to you?
The Watch
For some the battle is conducted outside formidable walls he has erected. He has built himself watchtowers, and set sentries on the ramparts. When the enemy nears he exits his gates to engage the foe on the field of battle at his choosing. He is not caught by surprise, for he knows his enemies, and stays prepared, he knows his enemy is never satisfied and is ever hungry like death. So he sets the watch.
For others the enemy is already within the gates, they have scaled the watchtowers, and they rain down upon him without mercy to kill, steal and destroy. He is dismayed, curses the Fates, has never repaired the breach, believing his enemy out of reach.
It is not for Kings to drink wine, nor for rulers to crave luxuries, lest they forget what has been decreed. “Do not spend your strength on women, who are the ruiners of Kings.” Let those drink who are perishing, it is for Kings to set the watch.
Heart of Stone
A Heart of Stone,
A Heart of Thorns,
Yet One who atoned,
This heart transforms.
His Heart pierced through,
The world overthrows,
For the One they slew,
Triumphant rose.
Count the Cost
Heroes hands drain stones for blood
To whet the scaling knife.
Magi blind with visions light
Net death in dread of life.
Their children kneel in Jesus till
They learn the price of nails,
Whilst all around our mother earth
Waits balanced on the scales.
In The Wake of Poseidon – King Crimson
For which of you,
desiring to build a tower,
does not first count the cost to see
if he has enough to complete it?
Luke 14:28
Death is…
Death is the door,
through which passing,
all illusions are shattered.
In death we return…
In death we return to that which the image within draws us, light to light or darkness to darkness, Imago Dei or Abaddon. Beyond the Door of Death lies Eternal Fire; it either refines from within or consumes from without. Thou shalt become that thing which thou deemest of greatest worth, by either clutching tight, or by letting go.
Birovian Perspective:
Don’t let what you ‘wish’ for become:
‘What I Should Have’
Wild Man Journal
What the Spirit Said- “When the perfect sacrifices itself for the imperfect, everything has changed.”
Everything is redeemed, elevated to a level previously unattainable. The Spirit, so eloquent, so subtle, if not payed attention to, travels past like a premonition or enigma, but when I am able to catch it, when I slow to walk along side, it forms a peace within me, filling me like Elijah’s quiet breeze, the pure simple movement of it filling my soul becomes ecstasy…joy, praise, and worship combining for a brief moment of wholeness. “The kingdom of God does not come with careful observation,nor will they say ‘Behold here,’ or ‘There.’ For behold, the kingdom of God is in your midst.
On the matter of Time
Time in the sphere of matter is erosive, solvent, reductive, terminal. Time in the eternal is curative, regenerative, expanding ever outward.
